I like to ramble....

My poor friends. When they call I tend to ramble about the things that are running through my mind. Things that some may laugh at, or try and figure out a way to get off the phone with me quickly. Today my Sister-in-law Stacey and friend Jackie were my victims.
I had this dream last night. It was a different one. Maybe it is all this talk of the cult I belong too. I dreamt of Christ. He was here on earth and was looking for someone. I was in this huge crowd listening to him call out to everyone. As he got closer (yes he looked like the paintings I remember) I heard who he was asking for. "I need the blond child" he said. Wait, what, who. Everyone parted and looked at me. Drew was next to me. I held her close and thought no way, he can't be speaking of Drew. Quite possibly because she is amazing, he could be, but I wouldn't believe it. I hid her behind me. He held out both hands to me and said "I need her, the child". In my head I think, can I run? Do I argue with Jesus? Can I? Is that in the rule book....#89. No arguing with Jesus if he wants your kid. What do I do? She is worried. I think, well if this is his will she would be at peace with it and so would I . I am not at peace and she does not seem to be either. Then I wake up.
Drew is in the kitchen with Nicolas and refuses to get him some cereal. "Go get Mom, she can get you some". Nicolas then proceeds to come up stairs to tell me his stomach is grumbly and he needs food. Can his poor excuse for a Mom get up and help him!! Ok, maybe not that last part. But I feel like that sometimes when I get lazy and don't want to be Green Goblin, a Storm Trooper, or the Human Punching Bag anymore. I just want to lay down and read kid!!! Wait, where was I?
Oh, yes. Drew. So, I am mad at her and think I did a better job than this with her. Where is this attitude coming from. Selfishness is not a quality I want my kids to have. So, then I am angry and she leaves for school knowing that I am disappointed in her. As she boards the bus I have the nerve to yell "did you remember your book for book club"? She just looks at me and shakes her head and climbs the steps to the bus. She knows now I am even more annoyed. So yes, this is where I am rambling on, get it now? I ramble.
Anyway. So after about ten minutes I remember my dream and the guilt washes over me. Oh no. What if I never see her again? What if this is a sign or something? You know all those thoughts us Moms get to have where we can't stay mad at our kids because we end up feeling guilty. I mean we are their Moms after all. They need us to forgive them. So after dropping Nicolas at school, I rush to her school and ask the school secretary to please have her come to the office as I have something important to tell her. Ok, she is on her way I am told. I wait on a bench where I will be able to see her as she rounds the corner to the office. Here she comes, hair disheveled. Didn't she just leave with it looking nice I think? Mmm, maybe some kid on the bus was harassing her and she is being bullied....stop, another ramble off topic, another worry for another day. Back to today. She rounds the corner with a big smile. "HI Mommy"! "What are you doing here"? She isn't sad at all. She has forgotten all about the morning. "Just bringing you your book" I say. She is grateful and full of hugs. I am grateful that she still loves me. Then I think on the way home in the car that I need to stop worrying about my dream and remember that it was just that. A dream.
"Right, that is what you would do isn't it"? "Hello"? "Are you still there"? Mmmm, maybe their cell phone battery died. Who can I call next to discuss this with?


Don't say I didn't give you fair warning.